Surround Yourself [Quote of the Month November 2017]

I have been part of an all female workout group about a year and a half now, on and off. I went more right after Babycakes was born, which is when the group was first formed. I've taken weeks and months off at a time...scheduling is hard with working full time and having a baby and wanting to occasionally see my husband. But a friend has been going with me and we've gone at least once a week for a while now.

We usually close with a prayer or positive quote, and the one listed above was shared recently.

The group is very much about starting where you are at, and encouraging to yourself and others.  

It's a really positive environment and I'm enjoying it.

But it also makes me a little bit sad. 

I'm so glad at this new culture that's been growing the last few years between women. I'm seeing women be more and more supportive and inclusive and it's amazing.

But I'm also hearing a lot of "don't trust girls who don't like girls."

And the truth is...I don't have a long history of female friends. I tried. But they moved or I moved or they partied or I got married or blah blah blah.

Plus, I grew up being told that girls can't be friends...that they were competitive and catty- which I wasn't. And that's why I thought I couldn't be friends with most girls.

So it feels like the script has suddenly been flipped and now I'm being punished for believing the crap I was told as a kid (to be fair, other girls believed this also and behaved accordingly). 

I'm trying to correct that- I just hope other women give me a chance to do so. 

There are lots of examples in pop culture where people found their tribe later in life, and as silly as it is I hold on to those (Leslie & Ann from Parks and Rec, Meredith & Christina from Grey's Anatomy who I think are still friends although I abandoned that a while back).

My tribe is growing, little by little, and it will be the right tribe when it's fully formed. 

ETA: just logged on to Twitter and saw a comment about how white people need to stop appropriating the world tribe. FML, being a non-shitty human is really fucking complicated sometimes, which is also why I sometimes stop bothering with having other humans in my life...but again, I'm trying, okay? I hope that counts for something.

1 comment

  1. I am very much like you in that it was hard to hold onto female friends from my past because I moved around a lot or we were in very different stages in life and it quit working like it used to. I have a few (very few) close friends now and I am holding on to them with everything I have. I don't have anything against women, so long as they are supportive and non-judgemental towards others like I am. You know, unless there is a reason to not like someone haha. And I have to laugh at your little small font at the end. It seems like anything you do or say these days is offensive to someone. I am not sure how tribe (when used in a positive light)is wrong, but whatever.